Kaitlyn wrote this March 07, 2017
Dating is all about meeting a wide array of individuals that you could see yourself settling down with while finding out who you are as a person. Finding out what you bring to the table is a big step in the right direction in finding someone you want to get serious with.
Time is money so for everyone's sake there's no need to jump in one relationship to the other just for the sake of labeling yourself as someone's significant other. Either you're one of these unfortunate souls that shouldn't be in a committed relationship, or you have a poor choice in choosing someone to pursue, either way, everyone should probably stick to casual dating. .
There's no exact amount of time it takes to get over an ex, but I guarantee you it's not in a matter of a couple of days. If someone you're currently seeing just got out of a relationship it's safe to say you're probably the rebound because you can't just turn feelings off and automatically feel brand new things for someone new without lingering feelings in your recent past.
Unfortunately, it may be shitty timing for you if you haven't relationshipped in awhile and this is your golden opportunity, it might not last as long as you'd like if your partner is jumping from person to person. It might be helpful to understand why their relationship didn't last and go from there because the last thing you want is some baby mama drama creeping up in your life.
It sucks, but people usually stray from their new relationships and go running back to their ex because it's comfortable and the feelings never entirely fade away. So beware of trying to jump the gun with someone fresh off the relationship boat because it could lead to more heartbreak on your end
If you think they're intense and clingy when you're only dating, you ain't seen nothing yet. Just wait until you are fully committed, and they have a chance to get all sorts of crazy on you. All of the unaccounted minutes where you would create last minute plans with friends or go to bed two hours early is no longer an option because you will have to explain yourself on the daily.
As flattering as someone clinging on to every word and move you say and do it can get to be a little much unless you're a clinger too. There is no training of clingers, either they have no sense of self and personal space that's why they cling, or they're independent enough to make their plans and continue with their life without your approval.
It's safe to say that clingers should only be there for some fun and maybe casual dating, but these are the people who are trying to talk you into defining whatever is going on so you might want to run before they trap you.
There is no need to define a relationship if someone is already in one. Do not make excuses for the person and say that they're unhappy but can't seem to break it off. We live in an era where everything is possible so if you want out of a relationship then make it happen, simple as that. An open relationship is a sad excuse for the people that can't seem to let go but want to sexually pursue other people, which includes you.
You're not being taken seriously or considered in their future because they already have someone that is willing to stick with them while they technically cheat with whomever and whenever they please. Don't waste your time or breath trying to explain why they should be with you instead of the other person, leave their ass before any more of your dignity is lost.
As much fun as it can be to party with your partner and let loose, it might be a little overwhelming to have to keep tabs regularly. Addiction is a serious thing, and even if it seems like a minor flaw in them, it will inevitably grow into a major one, so it's best to leave them at the party and drive away real fast.
Trying to tie down a party person is almost impossible because their primary goal is to go out, black out and have as much fun as they can remember the next morning, which isn't much. Don't try to change someone and be the good influence in their life; you don't need to be anyone's parent so don't' try to whip them into shape.
Instead just have fun together and casually date if you're that bored to be dating someone who's life revolves around tequila shots before pursuing someone you can take seriously.
The person that has no plan, goals or ambition for life is probably one of the last people that are capable of giving you what you need in a relationship. Not saying you always have to have your shit together to make someone happy but if someone is wandering throughout life and going through the motions, chances are you're just a part of this weird movement at this moment in time.
If they aren't taking the time out of their day to find some purpose and figure out a game plan for their life, they sure as hell aren't thinking about their plans for you. Date someone that can see a future with you not some floater wondering when life will fall into place without putting in any work.
The world doesn't just work out for the people not willing to work for something, and last I remember relationships take a shit ton of work to be successful, so it's best not even to waste your time with this one.