Kaitlyn wrote this March 07, 2017
The majority of people are dating online, swiping and messaging abundantly with no real intention of ever meeting up with any of their matches. Either they are on a dating app to kill some time or extremely intimidated by the thought of meeting a person in real life.
Well hate to break it to you but that's how dating works, you are going to have to see them in person and continue the relationship from there. It's easy to hide behind a screen and send messages, but there will come a day where you set up a date and time to meet your potential lover. Don't be alarmed I have all the moves you need to a successful first date.
Everyone is going to have unrealistic expectations in regards to someone's look and appearance before meeting up, but that's why there are pictures on profiles, so you get the general idea of what someone looks like. These pictures shouldn't be outdated or some false identity because you will be called out once you meet in person.
As frustrating and disappointing it may be to not look like your peeking years in college or as hot as your best friend, you still have to use a picture of your current appearance. Not only will it be hard for your date to find you but it creates an awkward encounter when you have to explain yourself first thing upon meeting. If you're lying about what you look like many more questions arise like how many other things were you intentionally lying about?
I understand that a connection should be more than physical but false advertising is primarily catfishing someone and probably one of the worst things you can do to someone when you're online dating.
If you set time aside for a date, don't be pushy and rush through the night to try and get to the happy ending. There are many stereotypes of people who date online, but most of them can go out the window. Not every first meeting is this sexual encounter and not every person on there is desperately looking for a relationship. Take your time getting to know this person while enjoying the date planned because talking over text is completely different than in person.
Even if you spoke about possibly hooking up or being physically attracted to one another it doesn't mean that you have to get down to business the second you lock eyes, I mean whatever floats your boat but only if it's consensual. There have been many times where a small gesture was confused for the signal for a full blown makeout session, revealing what they were expecting the whole time.
Take a breather and just let it happen naturally and on its own, and if it wasn't meant to be at that moment, there are always other nights or matches you could be making instead.
I know it can be intimidating to let your guard down and be yourself the first time meeting someone, but that's how you're going to see if there is a real connection or not. Don't put on this act to try and impress your date because they apparently liked you enough to meet up with you so do your best to convey who you truly are so they can get a sense of who you are.
You would rather be authentic and not have it work out then make someone fall in love with a person you think they would like. If someone is going to be that closed minded and judgemental upon meeting you, then you probably wouldn't want to be with them in the first place.
Put your best foot forward from the beginning and either the person will pick up what you're putting down or realize you should probably go separate ways after the date, no harm no foul at least you were yourself. Not everyone is going to fall head over heels for you, but it's worth the shot if you can walk away thinking you did your best to convey your true self and putting the ball in their court.
I know it's hard not to judge a book by its cover, but if your date is dressed a little more reserved than what you thought, that doesn't mean she's this born again virgin. It's human nature to make quick judgments on people and have the three second impressions but try to avoid that, especially the first time meeting someone because they could surprise you. Don't write someone off just because you assume all of these things about them, instead follow through with the date and wait it out to see if there is any chemistry worth pursuing.
Also, don't assume you're going to be getting laid the first night of meeting just because some riskay texts were exchanged before meeting up. I'm all for wishful thinking but expecting some physical token by the end of the date is ridiculous and should only happen if it feels natural. No one is obligated to do anything just because one date happened, even if you have been talking online awhile.
Even if you're a pro at online dating and have all the first date jitters on lockdown, it doesn't mean your date feels the same way. This could be a big deal for them, and they could easily back out, stand you up or act like a complete nervous wreck upon meeting, to which you should just accept and try your best to understand.
It's not ideal to have an awkward first encounter, but that's life and usually, happens in this day and age when the majority of people meet via online first instead of real life.
The chances are that this cougar has children. The last thing she wants is to be reminded of them and begin thinking about her son possibly sleeping with an older woman like herself. She probably won’t like the thought of that and could quickly change her mind about what she’s doing or just about doing it with you specifically.
Don’t mention how her and your mom are the same age or how they both own the same purse, simply don’t mention anything about your mom!
And if at any point in the night she says something along the lines of, "I'm old enough to be your mother," simply reply with, "Well how about tonight you just call me 'Daddy.'"